On this day of your life, Joanne, we believe God wants you to know ... that it is time to finally forgive yourself.
You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about.
You know how much I really want to forgive. You know how many times I tried to justify his actions, how much I defended him from myself, how much I really wanted to forgive. Forgive not only him, but also myself. You know how much I want to heal and let go. But everytime that I try to, it keeps coming back to me, in a way or another. I need to forget but I cannot. I guess, you also know that deep in my heart, I still care for him. That although I try to pretend that I don't, though I try to mask my emotions with hatred, you know I love him. Please tell me how it could be wrong to love someone too much? Or was it wrong because it was too much? I don't want to be suffering like this for any longer. Please tell me what to do. Please help me overcome my jealousy, please remove the thoughts of revenge on my head. Oh God, please heal me.