I'm not sure if I've used all my tears this past few days, maybe yes, maybe not, maybe I'll be crying for the same reasons again. But I feel that little by little, I am beginning to accept everything. When something so bad, so heartbreaking, happen like this, I would usually just keep everything to myself and endure the pain. I think that wasn't right. When you keep things to yourself, you think you can get thru it alone, but you don't realize that bit by bit, you're dying slowly. You're dying and noone knows.
It's good that I let everything out, that I let people find me and help me. Yes, I know the pain is still there, but at least, someone is there to feel you, to ease the pain, to hug you when you needed it most. My mom told me that everything will be better. Now, every time I feel so helpless, every time I feel like I'm breaking down again, I think of her words. Everything will be better.
I was tormented, or maybe I still am. I've gone thru a whole week of emotional torture, of unbearable pain. But I'm still alive, I'm breathing, and it's a sign. A sign that life doesn't end with a heartbreak. And though it doesn't seem like the pain will never end, I know in time it will.
I gave him my heart, now it's time that I take it back and put it where it should be, here in my chest, back to myself. Back to where it was in the beginning. Back to my old self. Back to being whole again.