Friday, 10 February 2012

Healing a Broken Heart?

Number One. Forget? That's one thing people will tell you. Forget him. Move on. But how? I have to say that I have a photographic memory. I was born with it.

Let me share a quick story of my childhood. When I was one year old, I was shot by a gun. Yes, by a real gun. I almost died then. The doctors said that it was a miracle that I survived. That time, my father was working abroad. My mom didn't tell my dad what happened. Two years later, my dad came home and he still did not have any idea as to what happened.  I was three years old then and would you believe that I told my dad the whole story. I told him that "Voltes V" shot me and I died and lived again. Everyone was so surprised that I remembered the details of the operation.

There, you see, I can't forget. I keep telling my mind to forget and it is just driving me insane. It's impossible. Every place that I go to, it reminds me of him. Every piece of memory that I retrieve from my head includes him. Forgetting is like trying to escape from reality. I cannot change the fact that he was a part of my life. So instead of forcing my mind to do something that it cannot do, I decided on doing something else... Create new memories. So I go out. Hang out with friends. Read new books. Watch new movies. Dine in new places. Try new things, discover, explore..

Number Two. Look for the your best bud. You have a lot of friends, that's a fact. But look for the one whom you know will understand you best. The one who can relate to your pain. The one whom you'll be most comfortable to share your thoughts, your shame, the unexpressed feelings, the stories you cannot tell your other friends. It helps when you have someone who would listen to you even if you are no longer making sense. I'm lucky I have one! 

But if it is hard find that friend, look for an alternative. Keep a journal or start a blog, like I did. That night when I found out the truth and when I was so hurt and didn't have someone to talk to, I started this blog. I don't really care if someone could or would read it, I just needed an outlet, a place where I can speak my mind, where I can let my feelings flow. And it made me feel better.

Number Three.  Travel! This is my favorite! This could be part of the creating new memories idea but I wanted it separate. One of my bestfriends told me that her motto is "Do whatever I want in case the world ends this year". Then I told her that my motto this year is plain and simple: Travel and Eat! And she laughed and asked me if I am on the "Eat Pray Love minus the Love" peg. Then I remembered, that book is one of the things that inspired me to travel. Though I am not really planning to go to Italy, India or Indonesia (I haven't got a passport yet, that's why!) I would love to travel across the country. My goal is to go somewhere different each month!

I'm not saying that I've completely moved on or that I am no longer heart broken. That's why the title of this post is "healing a broken heart"  because I am still in the process of "healing". That's my current state. And I'm actually excited for the day that I can say that I've moved on (past tense) and that I'm ready. But I am not saying that I am not happy because I am. Remember, happiness is a choice.

1 comment:

  1. we will always be hear until you've healed! Sama kami lagi sa eat and pray and travel part. Labshu! :)