Thursday, 14 June 2012

Better..

I've been away for quite some time now.. I was afraid to go back to this blog, thinking it would bring back the pain that I've felt before.. But wow, I'm a lot better now.. No more bitter moments.. Crying time is long gone..

It's been half a year since that time when I was broken.. One of the hardest times of my life.. But like what people say, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". I guess I'm a stronger person now, a stronger woman..

Just like what I always thought, you really cannot move on unless you first forgive the person who did you wrong. It was hard, sometimes I hear a voice at the back of my mind saying why would you forgive someone who hurt you so much when all you did was love?? Yet, I told myself that whatever happened to our relationship was God's plan. Yeah, it was.

Now I am just happy that it ended. Okay, why don't I face the fact that even before I discovered his affair with the other woman, I was already having doubts about our relationship. I did feel that I wasn't ready. I was unsure that he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. 

Yes, that is the truth. I wasn't ready. I was just blinded by the thought of "getting married". By the childhood belief of living happily ever after. Was pressured by my theory to marry the first man that I loved. By the fact that most of my friends my age already have their own family.

I still believe that there is no enough reason for anyone, man or woman, to cheat his/her partner. If something is wrong, then let your partner know, not let someone else fill the gap for you. Telling the truth is a lot kinder than sugar-coated lies.

But I guess, not all of it was his fault. I made some mistakes too. I became too dependent on him. Yeah, too dependent that I can't even make decisions on my own. I may have suffocated him. I thought that he completes me, that I can't be happy without him. That is just wrong. 

Now, I pray that God brings me to the right man who will love me and whom I will love for the rest of my life. Whom I would trust wholly. Whom I won't have doubts with.


6 comments:

  1. I'm happy for you marse! I know it's not easy but you've come a long way, and you're almost like a new person - so different from the broken person that you were when all of this happened. That takes real courage and strength (and beauty) Kudos! Labshu my marse! :)

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    1. Thanks Zaicy! I could have not done it without you and all my other friends (and family)! I'm so happy! :)

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    2. so happy, and beautiful! enjoy enjoy muna tayo ng life while waiting for our mr. right. ang saya di ba?! :)

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    3. tomo! hahaha.. enjoy pa naman.. ang take things slow ha? wag kang atat jan, haha!

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  2. hayan... galing na ako dito... etong "better" post pa lang nababasa ko, magbabasa pa ko ng "bitter" (old) post lol.

    o di ba talagang sinundan kita ha ha. ganyan talaga ako kahilig magbasa. tapos gustong-gusto ko yung umaandar ang story... I'll be back...

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    1. ako din super hilig magbasa, kaso sa dami ng nifofollow ko, di ko na magawa magback track ulet ng posts! dun ka magstart sa first post, ang simula ng bitter moments ko yun.. wag ka tatawa sa mga ka-aningan moments ko, hahaha

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